


Wedding Preparations

by silveradept



Category: Thor's Wedding (Edda - Snorri Sturluson)
Genre: Gen, Genderbending, Genderbent Thor and Loki, Gendered Expectations, Loki enjoys coded language, Misogyny, Thrym is a dudebro in all the worst ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 04:11:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18683890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: Thor doesn't want to go to her wedding. Loki tries to shepherd her as best she can until they can both get to the good part.





	Wedding Preparations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roguefaerie (samidha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/gifts).



"Ugh, can't I go to my own fake wedding with _trousers_ on?" Thor griped, awkwardly crossing her arms over her chest. "Or better yet, armor? Since there's going to be fighting?"

"No argument here," Loki said, shrugging as she threw open another chest of clothes. "Thrym was really clear, though: if we want the hammer, he's got to be convinced he's getting 'the most beautiful woman in Asgard,' and for long enough to get that hammer, that has to be you."

Loki fished out a dress from the chest. "Try this one on. There's enough space to hide some knives in it."

Thor stared at deep cleavage cut of the dress, her posture shifting from embarrassed to aggravated. Loki followed her eyes, understood her objection, and put the dress back.

"Which poet do I get to blame, then, for the idea that 'must beautiful' means 'breasts that even Auðumbla would find ridiculous'?" Thor asked.

"Probably Snorri," Loki said, moving toward another chest of clothes.

"It certainly appears that every dressmaker on Asgard, and probably more than a few on Midgard, seem to think that of a woman doesn't have Freyja's figure, they want to," Thor snapped.

"They're all men," Loki said evenly in return. "If they can't have Freyja herself, they want every women to look like her. Which includes you," she said, trying to get ahead of Thor's argument, "for long enough to find and get the hammer."

"Why can't you do this, Loki?" Thor was unwilling to cede any ground on that front.

"I'm not strong enough to pick up the hammer. Plus, I don't have the mass to shift into one of these," Loki said, pulling out a wedding dress.

The mass. Loki had taught Thor the magic to change her body early on. She had used it as often as possible to reshape her body into the girl she envisioned, strong in the arms and legs, forging herself as surely as the hammer itself. She tried to sneak in as much exercise that would develop those areas as well, but there never seemed enough of that compared to being able to move the mass with the magic.

Being asked to undo that work, even for a short time, was a betrayal she couldn't agree to.

"Perfect," Loki said, spinning to show Thor. The dress had far too much adornment, gold, and sparkle to it for Thor's taste, and the glare she gave Loki conveyed that opinion flawlessly.

"For you, perhaps," Thor said, to make sure there was no doubt of her opinion.

"And you," Loki said, sounding slightly offended. "We can figure out how to make the chest work correctly for you." 

"If you try to make me wear that," Thor retorted, "I will show up in formal men's dress and we can get the hammer that way. I might anyway." 

Loki breathed deeply. And thought.

"I have an idea," she said, finally. 

It turned out that Heimdall, of all the gods, was of the right size that his tunic looked like a dress on Thor. 

Thor fought Loki over the adornments, the jewels, and the ornamentations, saying that it would only get in the way of the fighting. Loki requested that she at least look the part of a bride, even if they all knew the wedding would never happen. Thor eventually agreed to a necklace and the ceremonial keys to the household. And, eventually, the veil, once Loki pointed out that if the giants saw that Thor was walking up to them, there would be no wedding at all, a lot of fighting, and they would be no closer to getting the hammer than when they started.

"I still haven't decided whether to 'accidentally' hit you with the hammer for this, Loki," Thor whispered as they approached the castle of Thrym.

"I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it," she said cheerily, in return.

Thor almost crushed the giant guard's hand in her fist when he moved to peek beneath her veil, but Loki was faster and whispered something in his ear that made him conspicuously step back and wave them through.

"What did you say?" Thor asked, when they were through.

"I threatened him with you," Loki replied, smiling.

Thor smiled back, and the thought of the smashing yet to come put a bounce in her step as they were presented to Thrym, king of the giants, and bade to sit and eat.

She was on her fourth plate when Thrym looked at Loki.

"You said she was the most beautiful woman in Asgard," he said slowly. "I was told that Freyja had a small appetite." 

"She's been concerned about her figure," Loki said, voice just loud enough to make sure Thor heard every word. "She wanted to be sure she looked her best for you, Thrym." 

"It looks to me like her diet got rid of her best assets," Thrym said, staring at Thor's chest. "But if some food will help bring back those knockers I've adored for so long, then eat up!" He chuckled to himself.

Thor felt her hands twitch with violent intent. Setting her plate down gently, so as not to break it, she sipped the beverage put in her cup. When she realized it was mead, she chugged it down and signaled for another.

She knocked a couple more horns' worth back before she felt the violent urges subside enough that she felt okay to continue. Thrym had been staring at her the whole time.

"Is something wrong?" Thrym asked.

"She's just nervous," Loki said, patting Thor's wrist. "The prospect of marriage has made her heart and her stomach all a-flutter. The mead helps keep her calm...so she doesn't jump right on you before you get married and make it official." 

"Oh, well," Thrym said with a smile and a leer at Thor. "A little drink makes a lot of things easier on your wedding night." 

Loki seemed to be enjoying this, Thor thought. She couldn't tell is Loki was saying these things because she meant them, or because that's what Thrym wanted to hear, but she could have at least not looked so _happy_ about it.

Did Loki secretly not like her? Was that why she was enjoying this so much? Why would her friend take such delight in hurting her like this?

Thor was distracted by her thoughts to the point where she almost missed Thrym going for her veil to take a peek at what lied beneath. Remembering the magic, she rearranged her face so that it looked like Freyja's, except for the eyes, which regarded Thrym with a cold, dead stare. He thought he could win a woman by stealing a precious artifact. And who had joked about her breasts not being big enough. And who had seemed delighted about the thought of her being too drunk to fight him off. If he thought she was going to meekly accept her place in his gallery of treasures, he was wrong. If he had thought Freyja would have done this, well, he was even more of a fool.

Thrym flinched and dropped the veil. Thor retook her own face as soon as his eyes could no longer see her.

"She doesn't seem excited at all," he said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say she planned on murdering me in my wedding bed."

"Really?" Loki said, mischief still in her eyes. "She couldn't stop _talking_ about you while we were figuring out what to wear. I swear, she was losing sleep over what she was going to do to you when she met you." 

Loki's words, and the smile that she gave with them, rattled in Thor's head, angering her even more, before a thought gave Thor insight. Everything Loki had said had been true, but the meaning that Thrym was taking from her words was far different than what Thor knew. _That_ was what Loki was enjoying about this, the coded messages spoken with plain words, not the humiliation that came with it. Thor nearly laughed aloud with relief.

"It's time," Thrym said suddenly, standing up. Thor smiled at the nervousness in his eyes. "Did you bring the rings?" he asked Loki, a touch hurried. She smiled and produced two wedding bands, made of fine gold, each sized appropriately for the couple. The sight of the rings seemed to calm Thrym down.

"These are perfect," he said, smiling. Looking over at Thor, he smiled. "Bring the hammer," he called. "Let us bless this forthcoming union with Asgard's hammer and dwarf-gold rings! With Freyja at my side, we will rule!"

The giants cheered. Thor cheered herself, lost in the massed voice of the giants, when she saw the hammer she had endured all these indignities for, brought forth on an embroidered pillow.

"May I touch it?" she said, trying to make her voice sound like Freyja when she wanted to have something. She left the hint of a promise in her words, like it might be the only thing standing between Thrym and his ultimate victory. Thrym flushed slightly and nodded.

"It's such a _powerful_ hammer," Thor said teasingly, walking up to where Thrym was waiting. Thrym's blush deepened and he grinned like a schoolboy caught stealing sweets.

"Thor is going to be furious when she lays her hands on this," Loki said, her eyes dancing in anticipation. Thor resisted the urge to give Loki the same glare she had given Thrym, not that Loki would have seen it through the veil that obscured her.

Thrym laughed, then glanced around nervously, as if he worried Thor was nearby. "By then, it will be too late, and I will have Freyja for my own," he said.

Thor ran her fingers over the hammer lightly, feeling the call to battle, the desire of the hammer to be wielded by its rightful owner after so long apart. Perhaps for the right person, Thor would feel the same, but for now, her blood sang at the reunification with her hammer. 

"It _is_ time," she said. She admired the scrollwork and the spots worn just a bit more from use. Each of them told a story by themselves, and Thor was ready to add a few more.

Thor picked up the hammer off of its cushion. Thrym's eyes widened, but before he could shout a warning, Thor spun with the hammer in her hand and all of Thrym's dreams were shattered.

Thor roared her rage at the assembled giants, discarding the veil and showing them who they had invited into their halllowed hall. She drank in their fear as her due, and then set to the work arranged before her. 

When it was all done, Heimdall let Thor keep the now-red tunic he had loaned her. Thor hung it in Loki's room as a reminder of what happened when she let pranks go too far. And for as long as what happened with the giants remained freshly stained on their memories, peace reigned in Asgard.


End file.
